Asian Buffet, American Heartbreak.

Private conversations. We all have them. Sometimes in public places. The thing with private conversations in public places is that unfortunately, they are overheard by the public (or at least me).

I try not to normally hawk in on the conversations of strangers - I think it's rude and I wouldn't appreciate a stranger listening in on my daily conversations, but sometimes I find myself in a situation that I just cannot ignore.

A few weeks ago, some friends from out of town met me for lunch. Since I had to be back to work in a hour (and because I cannot say no to their sugar doughnuts), we decided to go to the nearest Asian buffet.

We pay, go to start committing crimes against the food pyramid at the buffet and I go to find us a table so we can catch up and also so I spill sweet and sour sauce all over my tie (yes, I was the reason my parents couldn't have nice things... ).

Since I live and work in a somewhat metropolitan area downtown, usually this place is full of people who work in the area having lunch. I went to my usual area of the restaurant and was veering towards a table next to a bunch of people in suits who were frantically checking their Blackberries, when I heard 'it':

"You said I could trust you, but that was a lie"

What?!

I looked to my right, and there - next to an open table - was a couple in their early 20's having a "discussion". Sorry Business People, I'm gonna go ahead and check out this other table. I sit down at the table behind the quarreling lovers and I hear: "You said you wouldn't lie anymore, but that was a lie! YOU LIED ABOUT LYING!"

A few questions popped into my head as I look around in amazement. Is anyone else hearing this?  Why do I always find these things? Are they refilling the sugar doughnuts at the buffet, cause I was only able to grab 3?

My friends come find me ringside and we begin to catch up. Remember earlier when I said how rude I thought it was when people eavesdrop in public? It is easy for me to write that when there is not dinner-theater heartbreak happening 3 feet in front of me. I would occasionally tune out my friends and just hear if anything else interesting was loudly said. On about my second shameless glace at the table, I noticed the girl started dabbing her eyes and excused herself to the bathroom. I think she was going to the bathrrom to cry a bit.

Ok, so you know when you're at a movie and you have to go to the bathroom, but can't get up till you know nothing exciting will happen? With her in the bathroom crying, I knew there was no better time to quickly go to the buffet and run back. {This might be a good time to interject into the story that I am not a bad person.}

So we are nearing the end of lunch and they are nearing the end of their relationship. She suddenly stands up, dabbs her eyes, smiles at him wistfully and reassuringly rubs his shoulder as she walks out of the resteraunt. As I was watching the scene unfold, I could just imagine her saying "Although I still have feelings for you, I'm walking away from you and us, but I will fondly remember our time together...except for the apparent lying problem, I will not remember that part so fondly. Goodbye"

WHAT??!! Did I actually see that happen in real life? I didn't know real humans did that - the wistful smile/walkout combo.  I had only seen it in movies and TV. I could only picture her getting into her car, readjusting her rear view mirror with the same wistful, tearful smile and turning on the radio as some female-empowering breakup song coincidentally comes on the local top 40 radio station. "TO THE LEFT, TO THE LEFT" blaring out her windows as she drives off into the (noon) sunset.

He sat alone at the table for a minute or two and then left - the second he was out the door, I abruptly interrupt my friend, who was in the middle of a story with "HOLY CRAP, DID YOU GUYS NOTICE THAT COUPLE RIGHT BEHIND YOU JUST BROKE UP??!!" They somehow did not.

Now it may seem that I am being a bit insensitive to this poor couple of strangers who just broke up (in a VERY public place, as they talked loudly at times), so if this somehow gets back to them, I really do hope the best for them as individuals and that they don't mind me creeping a listen or two at the conversation they did not appear to be concealing in a crowded restaurant. If it makes them feel better about the situation, I'll even take them out for lunch at the Asian Buffet.

To the left, to the left.