Rules for life: Fall 2010 edition

 So I usually write about awesome stuff I see, but I'm feeling inspired to pass on a bit of random advice. Don't worry, I'm sure I'll see someone throw up in public or get bitten by something next week and return to my usual content.

• Don't be too cool to have fun.
• Don't hum in public, it makes you look like a crazy person.
• Nothing makes a situation more awkward, than pointing out how awkward it is.
• Don't be a jerk to people. You'll do something dumb in front of someone soon enough and you'll want them to be cool about it.
• Always plan for the worst. Then, no matter what happens you'll be ready.
• Problems: either work on fixing them or shut up about them.
• Animals love to bite, and can't wait to bite you. From parrots to horses to roosters to kittens, don't turn your back on them. Unless you want it to get bit.
• Strangers don't want to hear music you are listening to. Ever. Seriously.
• 99.92% of people with facial tattoos are crazy. I'm sorry, it's just how it is. The ones that aren't crazy are really interesting.
• If you find yourself obsessing over a decision about something for more than 10 minutes, ask yourself "Will anyone but me realistically care about or notice this?". Probably not, just make a decision.
• When you order food and there are people behind you in line, if you don't know what you want, step aside. Hungry=cranky, don't make it the day you get stabbed with a plastic fork for spending 15 minutes asking some poor high school kid what all comes with a bacon cheeseburger basket vs the cheeseburger basket.
• When in doubt, ask a person something about themselves. For the most part, people like talking about themselves.
• Pick up your trash in public.
• Be nice to cops, everyone else is probably a jerk to them.
• It's gross to feed pets off of the same silverware you are currently using to eat. No exceptions.
• Close you mouth when you eat. Do not chew loudly.
• It's never OK to clip your nails in public.
• Take time to enjoy the moment.
• Tell someone when their zipper is down.
• It's not going to kill you if you get a parking spot far away from the door. (Unless you live in a really really bad neighborhood?)
• Liking your own status updates on Facebook is really douchey.
• dOn'T eVrR tYpE lIkE tHiS. iT mAkEs YoU lOoK rEaLlY aNnOyIng.