What came first? The idiotic questions, or the egg.

I know that if I would buy a blender I'd probably never use it. Or I would somehow lose a finger in it. The only reason I'd ever think of getting one is a craving for a smoothie like twice a year. I was having such a craving about a week ago but once again assured myself that I would only use it for two weeks, and then maybe one more time - which would be the time I would more than likely have the prophesied finger-losing accident.

Then I remembered I have a food processor that I still haven't used - I wonder if I can use it to crush ice?

So I went to the place I go whenever I have a  question - the internet. I type in my question in Google and click on the Yahoo Answers link.

Apparently I should not be crushing ice in my food processors. Crap, well I still not buying a blender.

While retelling myself not to buy a stupid blender because I don't want to have to buy specialty gloves this winter, I happened to notice they list other random questions at the bottom of the website.

I notice one of the questions is:
"Are eggplants safe 2 eat because of the egg recall? like is the plant ok to eat but not the eggs they make?"

Um...

I must have misread that, I better take a closer look, that can't be what this person is asking.

Nope.

It really is what this person is asking. My first questions literally was, how can someone this dumb figure out how to type this stupid question all by themselves??!! I then remember some weird show I saw on Animal Planet about these crazy people who have these pet monkeys that they dress up and treat like children and then wondering if they have to have a pet monkey dressed up like a cowboy type this burning question for them.




Well, thanks to the diligent work (possibly by a monkey in a diaper). Someone very artfully answered the questions and let the concerned egg-lover know the difference between plants and animals.

The thankful egg-thusiest (yeah, just go with it) replied with: "ok cool, I didn't want to miss out on my favorite fruit"

 ...again...what?



So to recap, somebody out there (who may or may not own a monkey) believes that eggplants are fruits that grow the eggs that birds/reptiles hatch from. Also, they want to know if it's ok to eat the plant and not the fruit...so are they eating the stems and leaves of the eggplant fruit?


Screw it, maybe I should just buy a stupid blender and enjoy an eggplant smoothie.