So, I've had a Twitter account for a few months now that I haven't really used alot. I can either use it more often, or I can find productive things to do. I hate washing dishes, so feel free to follow My Twitter.
http://twitter.com/Josh__T
Yes it has 2 underscores between the h & the T.
Happy Tweeting (it just sounds wrong!).
For some reason I happen to stumble across all sorts of weird events, people, animals, objects etc. and I will chronicle it all for your entertainment. Welcome to Awesome, Awkward World!
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Plans are for villians and cartoon coyotes.
I have a personal rule that states: "Planning ruins everything". Because it does. Seriously.
Of course I'm not talking about the stuff we should be planning (for example: 'budgeting your money', 'preparing for a major purchase', 'organizing your workload for the week' or 'defending yourself against the inevitable robot uprising'). If you spend any amount of time building up a social event in your head, you have instantly ruined it because almost nothing can ever really live up to hopeful expectations.
The cornerstone of my theory is Halloween Downtown.
It all started a few years ago when I agreed to be sober driver on Halloween and witnessed a night of complete and utter chaos unfold around me. Ever since that revelation, I have always considered Halloween the best people watching night of the year.
• A few years ago I waited till the last minute to buy a costume and ended up with a really relevant "Ghostface" from Scream costume. At one point in the night some random girl walked by, grabbed me and started furiously making out with my mask. I just kinda watched her through the mask eye holes until her friend came over and asked what the hell I was doing to her friend.
• Face/body paint always seems like a really good idea until the moment you have to actually have to do anything. A few years ago, I saw a guy in a hulk costume (green paint) bun into a guy in a smurf costume (blue paint). Suddenly there were 2 drunk dudes pissed off that someone smeared paint all over them and ruined their costume. Suddenly a fight breaks out, 3 more surfs jump in to defend their friend. Then the bouncers get involved. It was a big, blue & green massacre.
• The wailing mermaid…who could ever forget. not really sure what happened with this one. I walked into a bar, there is a girl dressed like a mermaid, wailing and sobbing hysterically in the middle of the place flailing her arms like the robot from Lost In Space.
• Some girl dressed like Big Bird going apeshit crazy on some people across the street. I have never seen someone in such a cheerful costume yelling so violently at people a block away.
There have been many other hilarious incidents I've witnessed, and while alcohol can probably also be partially to blame, I can't help but be somewhat convinced that the true culprit was the disappointment and frustration of everyone realizing that what was supposed to be the "BEST NIGHT EVER!" is just ending up like every other night…except for the costumes..and possibly a restraining order covered in blue and green paint.
I try not to put expectations on events. I now "Plan not to have plans". As lame as planning for spontaneity sounds, I know that there is a good possibility that if I walk into a situation expecting it to be super fun, there's probably no way it can live up to my expectations.
So my advice to you is this: Let life happen and enjoy the moment you are in, rather than anticipating to find an enjoyable moment. And watch out for Big Bird. She is an angry drunk.
Of course I'm not talking about the stuff we should be planning (for example: 'budgeting your money', 'preparing for a major purchase', 'organizing your workload for the week' or 'defending yourself against the inevitable robot uprising'). If you spend any amount of time building up a social event in your head, you have instantly ruined it because almost nothing can ever really live up to hopeful expectations.
The cornerstone of my theory is Halloween Downtown.
It all started a few years ago when I agreed to be sober driver on Halloween and witnessed a night of complete and utter chaos unfold around me. Ever since that revelation, I have always considered Halloween the best people watching night of the year.
• A few years ago I waited till the last minute to buy a costume and ended up with a really relevant "Ghostface" from Scream costume. At one point in the night some random girl walked by, grabbed me and started furiously making out with my mask. I just kinda watched her through the mask eye holes until her friend came over and asked what the hell I was doing to her friend.
• Face/body paint always seems like a really good idea until the moment you have to actually have to do anything. A few years ago, I saw a guy in a hulk costume (green paint) bun into a guy in a smurf costume (blue paint). Suddenly there were 2 drunk dudes pissed off that someone smeared paint all over them and ruined their costume. Suddenly a fight breaks out, 3 more surfs jump in to defend their friend. Then the bouncers get involved. It was a big, blue & green massacre.
• The wailing mermaid…who could ever forget. not really sure what happened with this one. I walked into a bar, there is a girl dressed like a mermaid, wailing and sobbing hysterically in the middle of the place flailing her arms like the robot from Lost In Space.
• Some girl dressed like Big Bird going apeshit crazy on some people across the street. I have never seen someone in such a cheerful costume yelling so violently at people a block away.
There have been many other hilarious incidents I've witnessed, and while alcohol can probably also be partially to blame, I can't help but be somewhat convinced that the true culprit was the disappointment and frustration of everyone realizing that what was supposed to be the "BEST NIGHT EVER!" is just ending up like every other night…except for the costumes..and possibly a restraining order covered in blue and green paint.
I try not to put expectations on events. I now "Plan not to have plans". As lame as planning for spontaneity sounds, I know that there is a good possibility that if I walk into a situation expecting it to be super fun, there's probably no way it can live up to my expectations.
So my advice to you is this: Let life happen and enjoy the moment you are in, rather than anticipating to find an enjoyable moment. And watch out for Big Bird. She is an angry drunk.
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